Gray

Isn't it amazing when you get a song in your head/heart for days maybe even weeks and your sure it's because you were meant to "enlighten" another! For days now I have had Casting Crowns song "Slow Fade" playing over and over in my head. Everytime I hear it I think of those close to me that I wish would "really tune into the lyrics"!
Jokes on me! I'm the one! Isn't it great God has such a great sense of humor!
Once again I did something that I am ashamed of. I want to hide my face from Him! Darn-it....there's that song AGAIN! Why does it keep playing over and over?

It's a slow fade, when you give yourself away.
It's a slow fade when black and white turn to gray.
And thoughts invade...choices made!
A price will be paid, when you give yourself away!
People never crumble in a day.....

Silly girl.........this songs for you! It hit me like a ton of bricks when I decided to go for a run...jog...walk...(whatever..I went!) I wanted to run from my choices and thoughts and dirt and grime. All those UGLY things that I don't want to share with anyone. Not even Him! Especially not Him! What will He think? I'm ashamed, embarrassed, angry, hurt, broken. I don't want to clean my closet let alone have anyone else see whats in it.

That's when it hit me. Things in my vision have definitely turned to gray. I am flat out hanging in the gray, and I'm not likin' it so much.

In Isaiah 40:26-31 it says:

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of His great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.
Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain O Israel,
"My way is hidden from the Lord;
my cause is disregarded by my God"?
Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.
(NIV)

Thanks to my dear friends who I know have been praying that I would notice the fade! Love you girls!